Eighty-Seven

BAH! I was really getting excited about all the wrecklessness and then...

: (

*scratch that*

we'll see about another day, i suppose.
[also, a little poetry!! : D]

For the Record

The clouds and the stars didn't wage this war
the brooks gave no information
if the mountains spewed stones of fire into the river
it was not taking sides
the raindrop faintly swaying under the leaf
had no political opinions and if there were a house
filled with backed-up raw sewageor poisoned those who lived there
with slow fumes, over years
the houses were not at war
nor did the tinned up buildings intend to refuse shelter
to homeless old women and roaming children
they had no policy to keep from roaming
or dying, no, cities were not the problem
the bridges were non-partisan
the freeways burned, but not with hatred
Even miles of barbed-wirestretched around crouching temporary huts
designed to keep the unwanted
at a safe distance, out of sighteven the boards, that had to absorb
year upon year, so many human sounds so many depths of vomit, tears slow-soaking blood
had not offered themselves for this
The trees didn't volunteer to be cut into boards
nor the thorns for tearing flesh
Look around at all of it and ask whose signature
is stamped on the orders, traced
in the corner of the building plans
Ask where the illiterate, big-belliedwomen were, the drunks and the crazies,
the ones you fear most of all: ask where you were.

-Adrienne Rich!

Eighty-Seven

So. I think this might be the craziest thing I've ever done.

Ever.

but how can i turn down a free dave matthews band ticket?

>: )

Eighty-Six

Today was... sooooooo goooooood.

We painted in Foundations, but it was just black on white paper and there were no rules. Of course, the paint didn't stay on the paper for long, especially with Nate and me at the same table. Mmmm. That was almost fulfilling some interesting scenarios. The hugs don't suck either.

HAND SHOT!



[and that's what's left over from scrubbing]

Plus, STRANGELY ENOUGH, the arm closer to Nate just HAPPENS to be covered in paint and yet my left side is nearly untouched... Hmm!

Eighty-Five

So I'm contemplating buying Peter's Spring Awakening tickets but I need someone else to go with... They're 50 each so getting one of my penny-pinching peers to accept may be an issue.

WE'LL SEE! : D

Also, we dyed our shirts green today and I'm just iching to pop mine in the wash and see how it turned out. Peter and I are planning to screenprint some kind of roller derby name on the backs too. Plus! I'm going to use my fabric markers to put stripes on the sleeves and I'll probably cut a v-neck into mine. WOOT! It's going to be SUPER RAD.

Eighty-Four

107 pages 44,505 words
[that is one hell of a word document]

DAYUM.

rockin'!



BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, BOUGHT THAT T-SHIRT.

:P

Eighty-Three

So, today, Rachel and Nate and I fooled around in studio and wasted tons of time with banter and big-wheelin' crusin'. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. *craziness*

Also, uhhh... well.......... ihadn'theardfromblevinsinalittlewhileandfranklyijustwantedtobragalittleaboutmypiercingsoitextedhimbutnevergotareplysoitextedagaintodayandit'sjust...

impossible.

-bottom line-

Eighty-Two

I DID IT.

omg... and it hurt like a beezy.



*IN MY NOSE*

Eighty-One

so. when it comes to guys and relationships, there are two types:

1. The hopeless sap who likes chicks who are WAY out of his league and wouldn't give him the time of day/is the "guy FRIEND"
2. The semi-good-looking guy who flirts with everything that breathes and doesn't realize why "all these girls come onto me"

(at least, those encompass all the guys at KCAI who are straight and single)

----------------------------------------------

blah. BLAH. blahblashrlkasdlkbrlakwoeirjsoriawlekrthalkfbjwerwer;oiawer;aklsjfh;ljrhw;eor.

.......

ever do that^? because if you're looking to get out a little mild aggression in a few seconds it works. also. WORKING OUT HELPS : D

i, um. i had a pretty good day, but at the same time it was completely ruined by me... being absolutely retarded.

REGARDLESS-- it's time for Ordinary Ovations!

• i stayed in studio ALL day to work because Writing Workshop was (mildly unfortunately) canceled
• the pop machine (which only costs 60 cents!) gave me two cokes for the price of one!
• rachel and ashley have the best stories and inside jokes
• nate got my foot all dirty and said i should have probably gotten that pedicure, and yeah, technically that's a bad thing, but it's hard defining a "good day" with him
• holli saw capra, HOW HILARIOUS!
• which reminds me that i went to school-- PARK HILL-- today, and the fact that i almost forgot that is not a good sign...
• apparently, my pudge is "cute" (but it's not and he only said that because he knows i'm trying to work it off)
• joseph remembered to bring me Siddhartha so i traded The Little Prince back <3
• TOMORROW IS THURSDAY======= GREY'S ANATOMY IS BACK, I'M GETTING MY NOSE PIERCED, HANGING WITH HOLLI, VISITING ARTIST AT KCAI, and NATE PLAYS HIS VIOLIN!

And today already seems better just from remembering those little things.

*thumbs up*

Eighty

THANK GOD FOR THAT.

: D

let's have an adventure on friday.

DEAL?



(HELLZEA!!)

sidenote:


oooooh ya mr. mayer <3

Seventy-Nine

My head's exploding. No, it's not painful, necessarily... It's just one of those things-- those places where you get to after a certain amount of realization of your existence and how small you are and how little you know because

• everything is so damn relative.
• everything has such a gradient of GREY AREA:
• that in fact, the "fine line" between things is actually two SUPER fine lines at either end of the spectrum and everything else is the difference between the white line on the left and the black line at the right.
• nothing is right and nothing is wrong.
• ALSO. i really hate people who don't take responsibility. you know, we're the ones who are educated and affluent and yet we're using our knowledge to spin the situation in a way where we know how to point the finger instead of whatever proactive, optimistic metaphor I can insert here having to do with hands and the potential of being a responsible society.

you get the idea ^

-there's no excuse.-

and a final note: i'm so intrigued on the fact that i always preach awareness "be aware of your impact" yadayadayada, but too, i seem to think that we ARE aware of what we're doing but completely ignoring the consequences (because it's MUCH easier.) i dunno which is right. it seems like half the time i assume most people are ignorant till the day they die and the other half of the time is me thinking "positively" in the abilities of the human race saying we ARE aware, we are SMART ENOUGH, but then we fail at the execution in using our minds, in changing what we see as wrong. it's a two-step process-- being aware and then acting on the awareness but only having half the equation leads to two very different philosophies.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i keep hearing really weird music. oh wait. nevermind. it's not just me.

Seventy-Eight

Yes, Revolutionary Road was a fantastic and moving piece of cinema, but that's another story.

If you think you like Orchestral Soundtracks (OST's) then sink your teeth into Thomas Newman. This guy is the contemporary KING of musical composition. He's everywhere, he's in every film worth seeing, and just as effective as the lead actors, but he's invisible. He sets the mood and the foreshadowing and the emotional narrative with a few notes. This guy is impeccable.

If you're wondering how busy this guy is, from the end of 1999 through 2008 he composed music for:

1999: American Beauty
1999: The Green Mile
2000: Erin Brockovich
2000: Pay It Forward
2001: Six Feet Under
2002: Road to Perdition
2002: White Oleander
2003: Finding Nemo
2004: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
2005: Cinderella Man
2005: Jarhead
2006: Little Children
2006: The Good German
2008: WALL-E
2008: Towelhead
2008: Revolutionary Road

(+ some random other things not famous enough for mentioning, but you get the idea)

Seventy-Seven

-77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777-

So, like, Mattsson doesn't give out A's unless you're doing MORE than what's assigned, which is horrible because he never said so, but it's just kind of a folktale from the upperclassmen. FINE. If that's what it takes then I will make Foundations my life. I will use all my extra time to do 5 drawings with he assigns 3. I will inhale my weight in charcoal dust. I will rub my fingerprints away in pursuit of blending. I seriously want that A. BECAUSE, and this is the key, if he gives me an A it says that I did the best he thinks I could have done and that I got all that I was supposed to get out of his class. An A is a sign that I pushed myself the most I could have and thus, grew the most.

You only get out what you put in.

ALSO!!!!!:



Can I just say... FUCK YES.

[yeah, that was completely necessary]

Seventy-Six

a... B on that stupid art history quiz.
charcoal self portraits up to wahzoo. practice-practice!
finally feeling semi-healthy again.

not. a. terrible day.

so...

YAY?

Seventy-Five

THERE'S NO SWINE FLU HERE.

IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL ON THURSDAY.

AND I STILL GOT MEDS.

[heck yes]

Seventy-Four

...

swine flu?

WE'LL FIND OUT AFTER THE TEST COMES THROUGH.

i know writing this on a blog doesn't express my extreme fear, anger, or depression-- but trust me.

fml.

Seventy-Three

{caged in cages of cages with doors into cages in more cages.}

caged
enraged
then.
disengaged.

Seventy-Two

this is my day. monday through thursday. 8:00-11:50 am.

: \

Seventy-One

*AHEM*

Today my schedule was, is, going to look like:

Wake up at 6:00 am

Foundations 8:00-11:50 am

LUNCH

Art History 1:00-2:20 pm

HANG TIME/STARBUCKS COFFEE RUN

Print Club 5:30-?

Study Group 6:00-?

Exhibition in Epperson Auditorium 7:30-8:30 pm

GO HOME, SELF PORTRAIT

Take a walk/SHOWER 9:00-10:00 pm

Finish Self Portrait ?pm-?am

*DIE*

{basically! : D}

damn.

*********************************************************************

FYI, I'm beginning to acquire an affinity for the phrase "it dawned on me." SO, it dawned on me that not only are college students POOR and thus food is not terribly abundant, but we also have little time to EAT, and even more so, most art kids count cigarettes as two of their three meals.

famished. we're all famished.

######################################

Edit:

My self portrait, although it is not complete, is... SO GREAT. It's great in its hilarity and composition and concept and BA shading and and and it looks like me on a good day. YES.

Seventy

Today's ORDINARY OVATIONS will be dedicated to people, not events, that made my day:

• QUINN
• EMILY
• MADDIE
• HILLARY
• JESSICA
• HOLLI
• TYLER
• + anyone from PCAL who will be attending Portfolio Day of course!

they are INVALUABLE! <3

Sixty-Nine

I had a dream that Nate and some other people from school were declaring biological warfare on KCAI and they had the H1N1 strain. Eep. I was trying to convince them to reconsider when I woke up.

*WHY AM I SO ITCHY?*

I was slowly realizing I was scratching every surface I could reach. Oh crap. What's wrong with me??

I sat up. My throat was closing up. Hmm, this is lovely, never happened before and all. I'm sneezing and my nose is instantly running and my eyes are on fire.

To the bathroom! AWAAAAY! I rinsed the most red areas in an attempt at sterility and possibly to calm the irritation. There are two little white bumps. WHAT THE HELL.

To... the COMPUTER! AWAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

[this is where I end the story because I still have waayyy too much homework to finish]

*AHEM* Some kind of organism bit me (twice, apparently), while I was sleeping and thus: I recieved a lovely allergic reaction keeping me up from 4:45-5:30 am.

If that little monster comes my way again, well, I'll squash him like a *BUG* (that he is.)

and holli's blowing me off today because she has a paper to write, but she's known about our fun day since before the weekend and still went to Chillicothe and clearly didn't work out a decent schedule for school so now i get to be bored. [stood up, yet again]

Sixty-Eight

"And in celebration of Labor Day... you all will be LABORING!"

: D

: /

Story of my life.


[this is where coffee, techno, and perserverance collide]

Sixty-Seven

ordinary OVATIONS!

• best self portrait out of my class of 23
• perfect weather
• michael is SO sweet
• writing workshop gives meaning to my LIFE
• chloe jones is a god(dess)... ha, or a prophet.
• education = humanism

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. fantastic day.

: D

Sixty-Six

ART. SCHOOL.

ART. SCHOOL?

ART?

do art, learn about art, regard art, know art. when i realize we're all in this school for the same Bachelors of Fine Arts, it boggles my mind how different the journey to getting that degree will be for every single one of us.

it's so specific and yet so broad.